Fiat and Fear (and Jesus Winks)

Fiat was the right call for 2025. As I have mentioned, there were big happenings this year. And big happenings often come with big feelings – at least they do for me. 

Here is an interesting thing I have learned about myself that was, paradoxically, both a complete shock and absolutely obvious. I thrive in structure. Probably more accurate – I thrive in stability. Those two can seem the same, but they are not. This is especially true when you are married to a man like Mike Trepagnier. Very little about our life is structured. He (his ADHD) does not function that way. At any given moment, every single plan we have can alter, shift, morph, or completely disappear. We left home once and didn’t return for four days. I got new clothes out of the deal. This is not an exaggeration. 

Stability is something else. Where structure says that this is how things happen, stability says we are going to be fine no matter what happens. This is the difference between the material and the relational, the conditional and the inherent. Focusing on Fiat in 2025 taught me that. 

With so many big movements this year, fear was a constant. This is not a surprise, as I am typically a fearful individual. Some folks (even those who know me pretty well) will argue with me about this. That’s just because they have no idea how many things I do while absolutely petrified because I don’t want to look like a punk or cause a scene. This, too, is not an exaggeration – ask my husband. He is uniquely aware of how often he has to talk me out of getting in my own way. 

What I quickly realized was that Fiat and fear cannot occupy the same space equally; one will take the superior position. In this realization came the understanding that whatever I was facing – legitimately scary or otherwise – doesn’t come close to what Mary faced at and after the Annunciation. A young girl is visited by an angel in a super small town, pregnant, not by her husband, during a time when that was more than enough to get her killed. Not only is she to be a mother, but the mother of God incarnate, the Messiah. I don’t know how much of Easter Mary realized on Christmas, but I am betting it was enough. The prophecy of Simeon, the flight from Herod, all of it. Absolutely terrifying. 

I believe it was her Fiat, her trust, her faith, her belief that allowed her to function in the fear.

“Let it be to me according to your word.”

Thus began the year of building trust in God, in his grace, and in his promise that he will equip me to face whatever it is I have to face. In the beginning, the fear was a lot. Well, it was actually regular, but because I was focused on letting it go and there was more of it, it seemed like a lot. I took all the space he gave me. I looked to Jesus and understood that he was completely man – there must have been fear. Who did he look to? Who all children look to – their parents. So, I did too. I leaned hard on the love of Mary, the strength of Joseph. I went to Jesus, honestly, and told him what I needed for my spirit to get through whatever was happening next. He opened up space of supernatural comfort and relational support. After a while, the moments of fear lessened. The ability to let that anxiety go increased. The time spent in fear dwindled. 

On the cusp of 2026, I still have fear. I may always have fear. But I now understand Fiat and trust. I also understand Habakkuk:

Though the fig tree do not blossom,
    nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
    and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
    and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
    he makes my feet like hinds’ feet,
    he makes me tread upon my high places.

Or, in the simplicity of the book of Daniel, “But if not…”

And…in the writing of this post, I realize that those two verses, Daniel “but if not…” and Habakkuk, “…yet I will rejoice in the Lord” can both be found in their respective chapter 3, verse 18. Sometimes I feel like Jesus winks at me…times just like this…